The ‘Online You’ (Part 1) Part 2 here.
Once you’ve established the idea that there are different versions of you, the next step is to know as much as possible about your ‘Online Me’. The sections below will help you map out what you do, what your goals are, how you go about protecting yourself, and what your online character traits are. When considering these points be as objective as you can – even if you complete the tasks just for you, it’s possible that you might leave out examples of behaviour or characteristics that might make you feel uncomfortable – try to keep them in.
Once you’ve established the idea that there are different versions of you, the next step is to know as much as possible about your ‘Online Me’. The sections below will help you map out what you do, what your goals are, how you go about protecting yourself, and what your online character traits are. When considering these points be as objective as you can – even if you complete the tasks just for you, it’s possible that you might leave out examples of behaviour or characteristics that might make you feel uncomfortable – try to keep them in.
Your behaviour
What exactly is it that you do? What is your child-sex activity and how is it unique to you? When drilling down into any behaviour, it’s useful to ask ‘who, where, when, how and what?’ – the ‘why’ comes later. For example:
Key Questions
Consider
Who?
Am I alone when I go online for child-porn?
Have you set up time when you’re not to be disturbed at home?
If your computer is in a family or public space, have you ever risked access with others around for the extra sensation?
Do you trade/support or chat with other adults into child-sex?
Are you using child-porn images or stories to normalise adult-child sex with a child you know.
Where?
Is there just one location where you go online?
Are you always at home when you access child-porn? Is there just one location at home?
If you use another computer (eg at work), do you use your own hard-drive or USB stick etc to store your child-porn?
Have you ever used your mobile phone or Blackberry to access child-porn or go chatrooming in public?
Have you ever accessed someone else’s unsecured home wifi, or gone looking for an open network?
When?
When do you usually go online, and are there other times?
Do you wait until your family have gone to bed.
Do you have very long periods of accessing child-porn, eg overnight or through the weekend?
Does child-porn play a role in building up to your adult sex-life?.
Do you use internet child-sex to prepare for real child-sex?
How?
What computer do you use?
Do you keep any internet device separate from the family computer.
What software do you use and what computer peripherals?
Do you use software that is supposed to erase your online activity logs?
Do you use other equipment like mobile phones, teletext, webcams, video cameras or PS3s etc.
Do you create your own images/videos of children with your mobile phone, webcam or camcorder (even if they’re non-sexual, but not family use)?
Do you bypass the internet and use P2P or FTP sites for child-porn images, films or stories?
Do you use PS3s or 360s for private chats with kids, that then become sexual?
What?
What’s the process of your online child-sexual activity?
Do you just use a search engine for child-sex sites?
Do you have favourite sites?
How did you find out about your child-porn sites?
Is there are pattern you follow?
Do you autocollect so you don’t even have to be on the computer?
Do you build up to child-sex through adult sex, then stories and cartoons such as hentai?
Do you try and keep within the law and not access real pictures but look at computer art and stories? (see the legal section)
TOP TIP: On a sheet of paper, map out exactly what you do regularly and make a note of what you also do occasionally. Is there a pattern of times and circumstances? Consider what you could do to disrupt that pattern.
There’s always the matter of progression, although it’s not the same for everyone - some men will get straight into the child/incest material. Did you build up to what you’re accessing now? Is there a limit that you don’t want to go past (real images rather than cartoons or stories for instance)? Is that why you’re looking to stop – because you’re crossing your own lines?
TOP TIP: Make a list of all your online child-sex activity and sort the list in order of seriousness (harm to the child/breaking the law/what you think is more extreme etc). Think about whether you are building up to more extreme activity. If your pattern seems random, and there’s no general build up, what was happening around the time you accessed the more hardcore material.
© Chris Willoughby 2008-
