The Harm to Children
Part of self-awareness is being aware of the real harm to the real children in the photos or videos – which can be easier to ignore because what you see is just an image.  Even if you are sexting or ICQing a child, they are still detached from you – if you have children or they form part of your everyday life, you may notice a difference in how you relate to ‘real’ children in your presence.

There is no one set of symptoms to show the harm caused to children by using them for adult gratification (sexual or otherwise).  Common effects of child-abuse include:

In childhood

Into adulthood

One of the additional problems for adults who were abused as children and the abuse was filmed or photographed is that the violation of their childhood continues every time the image is seen by an adult.  In Sweden during the seventies, child-pornography was legal – those children, who are middle aged now, know that their images can still be accessed through the national library and the abuse continues as their trauma is again used for sexual pleasure.

Some men, even those who wish to quit their compulsive use of child-porn, will be particularly stimulated by the harm the children experience and it should not be assumed that knowing the harm that child-victims feel will be a motivation to quit.  If you are stimulated by the harm, awareness of this might provide valuable insight into your motivations for looking at child-porn – the sexual abuse of children is a violent act and for some men the excitement comes from the violence more than the sexual element (remember the highest COPINE scale point was for torture and bestiality).

TOP TIP:  Consider your feelings about the harm that children experience – does the thought that the children suffer stimulate you?  If so, is it a positive or negative stimulation?  If you are not stimulated by the thought that the children have suffered, why do you think that is?  Note how you feel – this is valuable information if you choose to seek professional help as part of your stop plan.

TOP TIP:  How is your child-porn described and marketed when you are accessing it?  Does the description put the child in control, or finding the sexual experience pleasurable?  How does this square with the overwhelming evidence that the children, although compliant, are extremely traumatised by sexual experiences with adults?