What do you mean by child-porn?
For the purposes of this site, child-porn is any sexual activity  with children under the age of 16 that is facilitated by technology.  Activity can include:

Explain the Quick Links
The bar along the top of the page directs you to three zones:

If you do want to create your own unique programme, but need ideas and information then the green zone should be helpful.  The order of the links suggests a recommended path (ie start with your motivation and end with getting help), but you can build your stop plan with any order you like.

Why are you helping paedophiles?
The aim of this site is to help men, who are heading down a path towards sexually abusing a child, quit before it is too late.  Many years of listening to guys who have been convicted of child-sexual crimes say ‘if only I had known then what I know now, I wouldn’t have done it...’.  This site gives you the ‘know now, before you regret it later’.

Why a positive approach?  Simply because it’s in keeping with my personal practice as a therapist, but also because research is heading towards an understanding that a positive approach is more effective in helping people turn away from harmful behaviour.

It’s important to know that not all men who access child-porn are paedophiles (defined as an exclusive sexual interest in children) - human sexuality is complex, as is shown through this site.  Also I believe that men who access child-porn may not always be doing so for sexual reasons - that’s why I place so much emphasis on self-awareness and therapy.

Is there a cure?
If  a cure means never having cravings to use child-porn in the future, or never being in situations where you’re tempted to access it, or even never having memories about what you have seen, read or done, then no, I don’t think there is a cure.  I’ve been a therapist for many years and worked within the criminal justice system for the past six years and have seen nothing that can take those thoughts, feelings and experiences away.  But  there are very effective approaches to handling the memories, urges or situations that might tempt you to use child-porn online, and this peace of mind can feel like a cure for some.

Why isn’t there a set programme?
The idea is to encourage you to think about what will work best for you.  I do realise there is a lot of information on this site and getting through it to develop something which is individual to you could be quite hard work... So a workbook is in development.

Why the Amazon links?
First and foremost, these books are ones which I have either used for source material, or I think would make valuable further reading (or both).  If you buy a book after clicking on the link, I would get a small commission which will help towards the cost of running this service (there is no other sponsorship).  In any event, it’s likely that any Amazon income would be marginal.  I won’t recommend a book or service that I do not think would be beneficial to you.

Do you pass information on to the police?
Not without a warrant or court order.  The exception to this would be credible information about the planned sexual abuse of a known child(ren), or the imminent abuse of any child(ren) based on credible evidence that the correspondent feels out of control - do not use this site to expect ‘Help! I want to STOP’ or Chris Willoughby Consultancy to inform the police of your (or someone else’s) child sex behaviour - you should follow the Emergency STOP guidelines instead.

Does this site work if I’m hooked on legal porn?
Yes.  The basic process is the same, even for non-sexual activities such as gambling, but the more in-depth information about the sub-culture you would have to find elsewhere.  The same goes for other forms of illegal porn such as bestiality, squishing, rape and torture of adults.

Frequently Asked Questions