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How Change Happens |
How change happens
The process of change
Change can feel a bit like a merry-go-round, except each time you go round you get a bit stronger. The following diagramme is adapted from Prochaska & DiClemente’s model of change which is used widely in change therapy…
Where are you on the cycle at the moment?
Not interested in quitting child-sex on the internet
You’re not on this site to change. Maybe you googled child-porn and ended up here so thought you’d have a look around. Some men will check out therapy sites to learn ways to cover their tracks or ‘fake positive’ in compulsory treatment programmes. If so, you’re still welcome at ‘Help! I want to STOP’ – just check out the legal consequences section.
Thinking about quitting
You’re enjoying, or being helped by, your child-sex activity but at the back of your mind you know you should do something about stopping – to protect yourself and your loved ones. ‘Where to start?’ is the big question, followed by ‘how to get help’. If you can, bookmark this site now and keep coming back to browse (there’s a lot of info to take in all at once).
Getting ready to stop
You’ve decided to quit – the benefits of breaking free from the child-porn outweigh the benefits of continuing what you’re doing. Surprisingly you’re not encouraged to stop right away – there’s a preparation stage. Why? Building up your personal confidence and being clear about your motivations will most likely result in you being successful in quitting.
Quitting child-porn
You’ve made a commitment and probably feeling more excited than anxious. You’ve thought about your needs and reasons to stop and you have a plan written down. Make the most of your enthusiasm and don’t forget to reward your successes.
Staying free of child-porn
Your bad habits have been replaced by good habits and you’re not using the net to engage in sexual activity with children. Your relationship with your computer is changing and it’s feeling more normal to associate it with things other than child-porn.
Straying back to child-sex material
Out of the blue (maybe), you find yourself searching for child-porn or cruising the net to ‘chat up’ a kid. Lapses like this are quite normal but it tells you that you need to strengthen your motivation, your plan and probably seek help from someone supportive. Don’t let a lapse undermine your confidence and become a relapse – bounce back stronger and wiser (and learn from the warning signals you missed or ignored leading up to the lapse).
OR
A stable, safer and more fulfilled lifestyle
This time around you haven’t lapsed. You’re probably finding that positive changes are taking place in your life that you never anticipated when you first started. Your growing as a person and feeling more fulfilled – and this is spilling out into other areas of your life. You might even be contemplating helping others who are currently in the situation you found yourself in. Keep up the good work!
© Chris Willoughby 2008-
